I was in denial about his death, until my uncle lifted up his limp, ragdoll-like body. I realized he was gone, and I definitely couldn’t sleep that night.
So there was a new question posed: should we get a new cat to fill the hole in our hearts?
I asked a lot of people and did a lot of soul-searching, wondering if I was ready for a new cat or if I should take the time to mourn longer. Would a new cat only make me sadder? Or would it alleviate the pain I was feeling?
I went to the Humane Society and checked out some of the kitties they had ready for adoption. A friend told me to visit and see how I felt about being with new potential kitty buddies. I let out a few of them from their cages, but they seemed more interested in the food than they were in me. That’s when I noticed a little fluffy faced tuxedo kitten, sitting in the back of her cage silently. She had giant curious eyes, as big as saucers. Her pupils were reminiscent of Puss in Boots from the second Shrek movie.
As my mom opened the cage, the little kitty began swatting her hand. I thought she may have been unfriendly, so I moved on. Later, a lady forced her out of the cage and handed her over to me. Her reaction was not what I expected.
She laid on my lap, staring at me with huge eyes, purring ever so loudly, and never once broke eye contact. She buried her face into my coat jacket. Her eye contact was incredibly unwavering -- she was more interested in me than anything else in the room, unlike the other kitties. She would put her paw a lot on my chest, and as my mom said, “Aw, she’s touching your heart.” She also captured it. I couldn’t part with this cat anymore, so we took her home and named her Violet.
I quickly realized she was an incredibly cuddly cat, more so than any cat I’ve ever met! She would always lay in the crook of my neck and lick my face. She puts her paw in my hand, and also responds to kisses (leaning in with puckered lips prompts her to lick your lips). Sleeping at nights now proved to be a challenge, since she insists on sleeping on your neck no matter what.
She’s got a lot of strange kitty quirks. Violet likes to drink from the faucet and also let the water drench her. She also loves to play fetch with hair ties or toy mice. She especially loves fetching it from the top of the kitty tree we bought her. It took her some time to be able to use it properly, since she was so tiny and the tree was so tall! But now, the tree has taken some significant abuse from her claws. Surprisingly stable, she climbs up and down the thing as if they were just stairs.
Strangely, she is also obsessed with digging the most deepest, possible hole in her litter box before using it. She’ll meow sadly if there isn’t enough litter, and digs with intense fervor. As such, the litter goes flying everywhere and it was super annoying. So we bought her a special litter box that was enclosed with a little kitty door and everything. It took her some time to figure out how to use the door, but it works amazingly well and the litter stays in. And so does the smell, thank goodness.
This little kitty also likes to watch her litter box get cleaned. Simply grabbing the pooper scooper sends her running from even the furthest parts of the house. We use a sort of litter that amazingly “clumps” with EVERY type of waste she buries in her litter. So, simply running the pooper scooper through the litter collects the clumps of urine and feces, and Violet loves watching the process. She watches with large curious eyes, as if she’s wondering why her deposits are being collected.
Does this kitty live up to Kiwi? I don’t know. It’s a question I would rather not answer. Kiwi and Violet are both so incredibly different, both in terms of personality and appearance, that it’s hard to compare them. And I shouldn’t. I love both of them, and having Violet doesn’t mean that I don’t miss Kiwi anymore -- because I still do.
I struggled emotionally for some time, thinking that getting a new cat meant I was “replacing” my old furry friend. But I’ve come to terms with understanding that that isn’t what I’m doing at all. I view Violet as the legacy of Kiwi, as a tribute to him, and a continuation of his memory.
But while Violet isn’t a replacement for my dear old Kiwi, she still certainly filled that emotional void left behind by his death. My pain and sadness has been transformed into love and affection, and channeled into a new, little baby kitten.
I think she’s a very gorgeous baby. I’ll make some beautiful Violet artwork, and perhaps have it printed on shirts, mugs, and other accessories. In the meantime, follow Violet on instagram - violetmewmew.